* What are the choices that we make and what are the choices others make for us?

Human tend to make choices at every level of their life. But we don't ever wonder on the quality of those choices that we make. We are always struggling in the hierarchy to form an identity for ourselves. Most of the things we do are done for the validation of the others, be it anyone. We can never shop alone we need an opinion of two other people before we buy that dress, we need the validation that 'would OTHERS like it if I wore this dress' we are giving others the liberty to take choices for us and then we think that we bought the dress. No you didn't buy that dress the other two people you went shopping with told you to buy it for you, where was your decision, for once did you thought that I would look good in this dress? In every way we are letting other dominate us, also if someone would say I shop alone, I don't care what others has to say about it, Who did you thought of when buying that dress? if it wasn't to impress anyone why can't you just buy the most simplistic cloth and wear it everywhere, everyday. Why is there a need for luxury if it is for our own self, humans don't need accessories to look good, they just accentuate us. So, ask yourself truthfully "For whom do you accentuate yourself?"

Another aspect to think about is the scarcity of the choices that human make for oneself. We need to take so many decisions in our day-to-day life, every decision that we take shapes our identity, that is why it is said that identity is a continuous process. The choices that we make, the quality of those choices, the decisions we are forced upon to take, all of this shapes our identity regularly, it gives meaning to us, to our name, to ourselves. So, how many of these decisions that we take, we take independently and how many of these we take interdependently. This is an important aspect, first lets understand the difference between independence and interdependence, independent are the choices we make solely for ourselves and interdependent are the conscious choices we make while keeping in mind our relationships with others, our "social standing", adjusting ourselves according to others.

So, know brainstorm over the fact whether you read 'It Ends With Us' because you found it interesting or was it because your friend who found it interesting or was it the internet that made you buy the book and then it sequel as well.

Why do we have to change and accentuate ourselves according to others? Why cant we do something just because we wanted to do it and not because others wanted us to? is it because the notion of doing something solely for ourselves makes us feel selfish and guilty? as if we are doing something wrong by taking decision that benefits only us and no one else.

If it is the idea of being selfish, isn't that the trait that defines humans the best. Why are we afraid of people finding out we are selfish?